Early birds and night owls have battled since the beginning of time, and yet the sleep war wages on.
We all know the saying: the early bird gets the worm, but the night owl gets the rest of the bottle of mezcal. This juxtaposition can be found in real life outside the avian world. Morning people have been found to be more proactive. A survey of over 1,000 CEOs found that 64% woke up by 6 a.m. or earlier.
At the same time, another study revealed that people who go to bed later and wake up later have superior cognitive functioning compared to early risers. Other evidence indicates that night owls tend to have more narcissistic, manipulative, and psychopathic traits. Maybe that’s why owls can turn their heads around so far. They know what they did and have got to watch their backs.
To be fair, night people may be entitled to a tiny amount of manipulation because the world is set up to benefit their early bird counterparts. Author and speaker Camilla Kring founded The B-Society, an organization that advocates for later school and work start times for night owls, or “B-persons.”
“I feel that I verbalize a feeling that many B-persons had endured in silence. A feeling of not being accepted and a feeling of duty to give in to the reigning discourse that failure to be out of bed by 6:30 A.M. and at work by 8 A.M. were synonymous with laziness,” Kring says. “A feeling of fighting against their biological clocks to conform to social norms dictating that school must begin at 8 A.M. and that one work hour in the morning is the equivalent of two at night. A biological rhythm is not something you choose. You are born with a biological rhythm and the B-Society will fight for chronotype equality.”
In other words, some people aren’t built to eat worms. We’re more tapas and sangria types. But if you had to place a bet on early birds vs. night owls, it would not be an even playing field based on Kring’s point. No matter where they fall in the pecking order, we’re putting our money on night owls. They fight dirty.
Go to the Tape
Getting a good night’s sleep is hard, but taping your yapper shut is easy. At least, that is the premise behind mouth tape, a sleep hygiene hack that experts remain divided on. That said, consumers seem pretty curious. In the past year, Google searches for mouth taping have increased by over 400%.
The technique was developed by Russian doctor Konstantin Pavlovich Buteyko decades ago but gained popularity on social media in 2020 — when we were cooped up in lockdown and had little to do besides scroll and snooze. It makes sense why we would want to get better at the latter.
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Plenty of content creators have pointed out the kidnappy vibes of this product, but Hostage Tape made the bit official when they launched in 2022. There are other mouth tape products on the market, but Hostage Tape’s origin story offers a cautionary tale. Before discovering Buteyko’s method, founder and CEO Alex Neist struggled with chronic snoring that contributed to marital issues that ultimately led to his divorce.
The lesson is that if you must tape your partner’s mouth shut for the good of your relationship, do it at bedtime.
Can’t Sleep? Try the Best Podcast That You’re Least Likely To Finish
“Sleep With Me” is a bi-weekly show hosted by Drew Ackerman, who has said he was inspired to start the show after struggling with insomnia since childhood. Ackerman goes by the name Scooter in the silly, worry-free world he creates on “Sleep With Me.” Basically, the idea is that Scooter tells a long, meandering, mildly funny story that’s just interesting enough to keep you from thinking about your real life as you doze off. Scooter’s soothing, slightly goofy voice and toothless sense of humor pair perfectly with his boring stories. The show is audio melatonin.
Perhaps this is why “Sleep With Me” is one of the longest-running sleep podcasts out there. Ackerman has been making episodes since podcasting was a nascent art form back in 2013. As Scooter points out in most episodes, the show’s dull, droll vibe is not for everyone. Ackerman is so committed to sharing sleep health resources that he keeps a list of other sleep podcasts people can check out on his website.
Sleeping rules. Why not do it twice a day?
There are few things we relate to less than someone telling us they’re “not a napper.” As long-time work-from-home freelancers, we’re huge proponents of a midday good night. Rather than feel guilty for having a healthy nap habit, maybe it’s time we all embrace naps for what they are: performance-enhancing drugs. When done in moderation, naps have been shown to promote focus, performance, and mood.
Further, it may be the case that many of us are wired to break up our sleep in chunks anyway. Though we’re now all familiar with the modern world’s expectation that we sleep eight full hours and then rise and grind, this sleep schedule isn’t necessarily our “natural one.” In fact, sleeping in one long stretch only became commonplace after the advent of electricity, which allowed people to stay up later. Prior to this, people would often go to sleep at sundown, wake up 3-4 hours, an have a little “intermission.” During this time, they would socialize, read, eat, and…procreate (nice.)
This type of sleeping is called “segmented sleeping” or “biphasic sleep,” and our ancestors are not the only ones who appear to enjoy a little midnight “me time.” According to the New York Times, 30% of people report waking up multiple times throughout the night. While restless sleep can be a sign of insomnia, perhaps this is a sign that some people are naturally inclined to sleep in chunks or nap midday.
Perhaps, like those who snoozed before us, we can normalize enjoying a 3 a.m. wake-up. This is time we can use to read, stretch, meditate – some of the healthful things that can fall by the wayside while the rest of the world is awake and emailing you.
The Cannabinoid That’s a Kick Ass Sleep Aid: Is There Anything This Plant Can’t Do?
One of our favorite developments in the cannabis space over the last few years has been the proliferation of products that contain other parts of the plant beyond just THC. One of these cannabinoids (fancy for cool shit that’s in weed) is CBN, which studies have shown is a highly effective aid in combatting insomnia. We love CBN for the warm fuzzy feeling it gives when taken just before bed and also find that popping a sleep CBN gummy helps with our general sleep quality.
Those curious about trying CBN products might want to start with Kiva’s CBN Sleep gummy in Midnight Blueberry. Kiva is a brand known for its consistency, and these gummies deliver a nice, relaxing flavor and drowsy results.
🟢 5 mg THC 1 mg CBN
Those with a higher tolerance might be into XTabs high dose Sleep offering – which are not only high in CBN, THC, and CBD, but also contain melatonin, and Agashawanda, an herb commonly used for stress relief.
◆ 25 mg THC 10 mg CBN 10mg CBD
Still Short on Zzzs?
Studies suggest that creatine, a compound made of amino acids, can boost cognitive performance following a rough night and reduce the need for sleep overall. For better rest in the future, gratitude has been linked with dozing off faster and longer sleep times. We’ll help you start your list: You’re grateful for creatine.
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