Content creators have mounted, or erected, a scorching hot campaign against the Trump administration’s budget cuts to National Parks. Splicing thirst traps of chiseled men and scenic images of Yellowstone National Park with horny music from the early aughts, the TikTok account @visit.yellowstone is the hero we did not know Gotham needed, let alone the northwestern corner of Wyoming. But here we are.
With the help of 50 Cent and some well-placed abs, the account resembles what it would be like if the cast of Magic Mike were tasked with preserving landscapes, wildlife, and park ranger jobs. Make no mistake, we would watch the shit out of that movie.
While the National Parks Service has no official presence on TikTok, it has responded positively. “We appreciate the enthusiasm for our nation’s parks and the creative ways individuals share their experiences online,” NPS told CNET in an email.
This has not stopped them from joining the trend. Like a cool dad learning new slang, the NPS recently posted on their verified Instagram account that Death Valley is the original “thirst trap.” Adorable.
It is easy to co-sign that statement. Humans have been oggling, downright drooling at the sexy, supple horizon since the begining of time and that slut continues to slay. In the search for social media likes and IRL approval, we all want the rizz that Mother Nature has. (No one tell NPS what that means.)
And who knows? If Trump keeps up his ways, you might have to subscribe to OnlyFans to access nature’s fine ass one day. Impending destruction aside, this happy trail will inevitably change the meaning of “touch grass.”
Brew Thru for Weed
Drive-thru dispensaries are technically legal in 18 states but relatively rare, popping up in states like Illinois and Missouri. Last week, Story Cannabis received final design approval to open the first weed drive-thru in Cleveland.
Drive-thru dispensaries are a great amenity for medical patients who are dealing with chronic pain, chemo side effects, and other health issues. They’re also a hot-boxed dream of anyone who’s ever been high at a McDonald’s. Whether you need them to get your plant medicine or just love the idea of them, we need more weed drive-thrus. If not for the stoners, then for the t-shirts.
Hold On
The description to our latest fave IG account @girlscarryingshit kind of says it all: “After thousands of years without pockets, non-men have evolved a superior grip to carry our shit.” Indeed, this explanation speaks to what is so compelling and relatable about posts which simply show and then catalogue the shit that girls carry.
Because girls do carry shit. Maybe your yoga teacher or your most annoying co-worker calls this “holding space.” We’re carrying shit. Different shit, all the time at once. (Not because we’re better at it.)
It’s actually a myth that women are better at multitasking. This isn’t some evolutionary superpower. This is just about carrying a bunch of shit.
And we do. We carry, at the same time, our grocery list – our climate anxiety – our bestie’s best gossip.
Girls carry shit with claws. (They’re expensive, but they make a difference. They’re like flowers. They won’t last, but still worth the money. Why is this so hard for people to understand?)
We need a purse, but we don’t need a purse. We can have the mess on the outside
Girls carry the conversation. We carry tension in our shoulders. We Carrie fucking Bradshaw our ways through life, because that dusty show stays good because it’s true – you can look hot while being utter chaotic trash.
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