We’re not gonna lie – any time we see jalapeño in a cocktail, we’re drawn to it like nerds to the comment section. Still, even as spice enthusiasts, we weren’t immediately onboard when the internet kicked off summer by making “Jalapeño Sauv Blanc” a thing. The recipe for this drink is simple: take some Sauvignon Blanc, and throw a couple of sliced jalapeño peppers in. You can do pickled ones if you’re feeling dirty, or frozen if you want to really cool off your drank.
Let’s just cast aside any judgment around throwing other produce into our wine right away. Since the early Greek and Roman times, people have literally been throwing extra food they had on hand into their wine. Thus, sangria was born. While sangria traditionally makes sub-par wine drinkable by adding sweetness, we like that jalapeño sauv keeps things savory.
@ejscookin A crisp, spicy sauv blanc is ittttt 🤌🏼
Sauvignon blanc also has a citrusy note to it, which feels intuitive when paired with jalapeño. (Think guacamole or pico de gallo.) It’s refreshing, a little spicy, and honestly, the perfect accompaniment to watching a baseball game at home. Most importantly, however, this is a wine for sipping when you’re numb to the news, dumb from doomscrolling, and truly don’t have a fuck left to give. Jalapeño slices are reminiscent of the nachos you get at Little League games or gas stations. Throwing them in your vino lets the world know “I’m done, and I don’t want to be bothered about it.” Wine has a long history of making people cry, but when you’re totally numb to your feelings, perhaps it’s time to chug pepper seeds until your eyes water.
In any case, this drink is as gauche as it is gimmicky, and you know what? We’re here for it.
Make a Date (With Salted Butter)
Dates, of the fruit and not Tinder variety, are high in fiber and antioxidants, making them a nutrient-rich alternative to many other sweet snacks. They’re so healthy that you can slather them with butter and sprinkle a little salt on them for a more decadent taste that many content creators compare to raw cookie dough. We can attest that while sober, dates with butter and salt are a solid snack that nutritionists cosign. But if you pre-game with a bowl of Sour Diesel or another cannabis strain of your choice, it is a lot more likely to taste like cookie dough. The best part of this simple snack is that, depending on your tolerance level, the process can be pared down to two steps: dates and pre-salted butter only. And if you hit the stoner sweet spot where you get creative and experiment with temperature, freezing, refrigerating, and microwaving your butter and salted dates, like an eccentric food scientist.
@brookebohannan_ I’m telling you, dates with butter & salt have changed my life. If you are a sweets person like me, you have to try 😮💨 #dateswithbutter #medjooldates #healthydessert #sweettreats #sweettreat ♬ original sound – Brooke
Don’t worry—we did the experimentation for you and found that briefly freezing butter and salted dates for about five to ten minutes is the best path to a healthier cold cookie dough hack. You can leave them there longer, but why would you want to wait?
Stoned or not, having a new snack in the rotation is always great. Nothing against regular, raw dog cookie dough (besides the part where we eat raw eggs), but dates, salt, and butter have a lot of advantages over processed zygote of a baked good. But all we’ll say is that with the natural option, you’re scientifically set up for better poops. If you’re into that sort of thing, have yourself a little date.
Is Weed The Remedy For Dog Firework Anxiety?
The Fourth of July is around the corner, but if our pets could talk, they would call it Dogmageddon. Our pups hear more than twice as many frequencies as humans and sounds nearly four times farther away. So when holiday fireworks start popping off, they might pant, shake, or even hide to cope with fear and anxiety. But perhaps a little CBD for dogs can help.
CBD, or cannabidiol, is one of the main non-psychoactive compounds found in cannabis. So unlike that time your dog got into your gummy stash in an old backpack, or that year they were prescribed Xanax, CBD won’t get your dog high, but it might chill them out. Researchers from Cornell found that when dogs were given CBD chews before a stressful event, 83% displayed fewer stress and anxiety-related symptoms. Other studies suggest that CBD reduced dog stress during car rides.
Other data indicates that counterconditioning can be one of the more effective ways to reduce your dog’s fireworks anxiety. Instead of bringing your dog to a noisy barbecue or leaving them home to fend for themselves, counterconditioning requires dog owners to stay home when fireworks start and shower them with treats, snuggles, and positive reinforcement. Since CBD can impact the efficacy of other medications, it’s smart to consult with your veterinarian before giving your dog CBD oils and other over-the-counter products. But assuming they give two paws up, investing in some CBD dog treats for anxiety might be a better way to mutually dissociate with your dog this year.
Feel free to pick up some THC for yourself while you’re at it. Dog moms and dads who stay home on Independence Day also deserve a treat.
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