After America had the Monday-est of Mondays, things are not looking…good. Neither are the people doing said things. From pasty skin to patchy self-tanner, the guys usurping power are not serving style-wise, among other areas. That’s not stopping these accessories to a crime from accessorizing.
Before the inauguration, Mark Zuckerberg appeared on an episode of Joe Rogan with a fresh perm and a gold chain with a gold plate. Three days later, the head of Instagram, Adam Mosseri, posted a ratioed video about AI-enabling “improvements” to the platform, adorned in a blatant display of bling around his wrist and neck. Most of us reacted to both men as we would to an Italian inviting you on a boat — with instant and understandable suspicion.
It’s hard to know what is real, but Trump signed an executive order to delay the TikTok ban for 75 days. Many remain skeptical that his actions are more than propaganda, especially after TikTok CEO Shou Zi Chew attended the inauguration. Of course, so did Zuckerberg, Elon Musk, and Joe Rogan, who with Trump, make up the Mount Rushmore of misinformation.
Regardless, the thought of losing a significant social media platform, for a moment, allowed us to naively dream of a world where X, Instagram, and Facebook all disappeared with the style-appropriating billionaires behind them. Alexa, play “Wouldn’t It Be Nice” by the Beach Boys.
More people are announcing their departure from Facebook, Instagram, and, most notably, X after Musk’s Nazi salute. Others are opting to stay connected but use social media with more moderation. One thing is clear: Big Tech’s toxic ties to the Trump Administration are no longer hiding in plain sight or hiding at all. The alliance is proudly displayed like Zuck’s dog dork tag.
Nothing against regular guys who want to rock a gold chain or accessorize in general. Any little treats and style tweaks that make you feel good during a seemingly rapid transition are essential self-care. It just takes a real asshole to wear a $900,000 watch during a taped interview when your fortune feeds misinformation to people who are struggling to feed themselves. But perhaps some big, heavy bracelets would help weigh down Musk’s fascist hands. Might we suggest handcuffs?
“Joe Rogan is literally 5 foot 3” written in the sky above LA.
byu/MacsPowerBike inJoeRogan
Hooky Couch-Lock Book Club
To Check Out When You Wanna Check Out
Celebrity memoir read by the author is one of our favorite genres. They’re generally compelling and a light enough lift to listen to during a workout or long drive. Plus, there’s something very intimate feeling about having the Duke of Sussex or the Boss talking directly into your ear for hours on end. Cher’s recently published memoir is no different. In the audio version the singer/actor/comedian/Bob Mackey muse takes turns narrating with Stephanie J. Block, who portrayed Cher in the Broadway musical “The Cher Show.” (Cher herself has been open about her dyslexia diagnosis, which makes reading a challenge.)
Of the many juicy nuggets we enjoyed in this book, Cher spilling about the men she encountered early in her life was particularly satisfying. Here are five guys Cher crosses paths with.
Warren Beatty Sixteen-year-old Cher meets Beatty while alone, smoking a cigarette on the Sunset Strip. Yes, a night swim is involved. Yes, Cher borrows Natalie Wood’s bathing suit for it.
Sonny Bono While Cher’s marriage to Bono is disintegrating off camera, the tension between the duo creates on-screen fireworks that make them household names.
David Geffen Before the media mogul started Dreamworks, he was Cher’s dream boat. He’s also the man who helps Cher realize she’s not the boss of Cher, Inc.
Gregg Allman No stranger to being a part of a duo himself, the long-haired Allman brother gives Cher the full rockstar experience – multiple rehab stints and all. He also gives her a child.
Gene Simmons The eccentric rocker shows Cher the true meaning of KISS and makeup.
The Smoking Section
Notes on an infrequent, filthy habit.
On a Saturday afternoon after a long week, my spouse and I slip on the oversized monogrammed bathrobes we were gifted a couple of Christmases ago. We each make an espresso and even use the saucers that go with the cups. We take everything outside to our small patio and share a cigarette in what feels like the Ritz.
Is Hot Yoga A Better Workout, or Are We Just Masochists?
We love a challenging workout. The endorphins. The soreness. The smugness. For this reason, one of our favorite brands of torture errr…wellness…is hot yoga. Even the most hardcore hot yogis have some classes where we feel so lightheaded we must ask ourselves, “Did I really pay 30 dollars for this shit?” Is hot yoga really a better workout than more traditional yoga practices? The science is divided.
A 2020 study by the International Journal of Exercise Science found that hot yoga and room temperature yoga offer very similar benefits when it comes to aerobic measures like heart rate and gas exchange. Researchers noted yoga actually burns fewer stored carbohydrates than room-temperature yoga, though hot yoga burns more stored fats. While a 2013 study found that a heated yoga practice improves flexibility, other studies have shown that a wide range of yoga methodologies can help improve mobility in as little as 8 weeks’ time.
Rolling out your mat is likely a good way to beat the blues, no matter the temperature. According to Harvard Health, yoga, in general, can help with mood and focus. Ultimately, the decision to sweat out a flow is likely a matter of factors, including personal taste and health concerns. People with certain heart conditions or heat intolerance are often advised by doctors to avoid heated classes. Others may just not like the feeling of slipping around in a puddle of one’s own humidity for an hour. Still, regardless of how much more beneficial it is or isn’t than room temperature, some just like it hot.
Breaking the Ice: Cold Showers vs Cold Plunges
From pro athletes optimizing their bodies with cryotherapy to Gwenyth Paltrow’s pursuit of mental clarity with “Iceman” Wim Hof, being cold has become invariably cool. Whether it’s a frigid bath or a cold shower, the idea is essentially the same. Exposure to temperatures just above freezing for 60 seconds or more can shock the system in a way that has been found to ease symptoms of anxiety and depression.
Part of the explanation for why is that cold exposure can increase heart rate variability (HRV), which scientists believe is associated with greater resilience to stress. We tried cold showers and ice baths to build up our mental toughness and see what was most effective.
Cold Shower 🥶
Up until this point, the only cold showers I have taken were due to living in awful New York City apartments, but never voluntarily. It turns out that the hardest part of a cold shower is managing the natural impulse to get out of the way of the chilly downpour. Unlike a bath where you’re either in or out, a cold shower allows you to half-ass the process and risk some discomfort for little benefit. However, if you live in a state that limits water consumption, a cold shower is a more responsible way to dip your toe into the benefits of cold exposure.
Cold Pluge ⛄️
Cold plungers will often invest in big, often outdoor ice bath tubs to add a layer of nature and frost to the overall mindfulness practice. But as a midwesterner in the throes of a Chicago cold snap, I’m exposed to enough of the elements calling dibs on a parking spot. With an outdoor ice bath out of the question, I filled my bathtub with the coldest water the faucet would allow, which was cold enough to nearly pull a muscle jumping out after 60 seconds were up. But as I dramatically draped myself in warm towels and a robe, I felt a rush through my body that caused me to start laughing maniacally. The way that brief, voluntary discomfort can make you feel like you can endure almost anything was equal parts silly and invigorating.
The combination was too extreme and indulgent to dive into daily, but I understood why Wim Hof would.
Pro tip: get your plunge done first thing in the morning, follow with coffee, and go outside with the confidence of someone who could lift a car.
Bonus Third Option: Fuck This Shit 😈
If cryotherapy doesn’t have an ice bath’s chance in hell at making its way into your home, that’s fine. There are plenty of other ways to up your HRV and stress tolerance, like exercise, yoga, meditation and breathwork. But if you’re just going to be glaring at a cold bath muttering “fuck this shit” all morning, then save the water and find what works for you.
The Forecast: Bitcoin is at $104,416.13/Gold is at $2,738.22/Conference Championships Sunday Commanders at Eagles12PT/3ET, Bills at Chiefs 3:30PT/6:30ET/If you hate working out, do it more
