It was November 2019. Few knew what lay ahead in 2020 or how weird things would get. The sun was shining in Malibu, California and Josh Brolin was burning his asshole in the name of wellness… What we’re saying is it was a simpler time.
A month before Brolin’s cautionary online overshare, wellness influencer Metaphysical Meagan posted the same stock image promising that 30 seconds of direct butthole sunlight could instantly boost energy, improve sleep, and increase control over one’s life force. Depending on how private your yard is, it can also be a great way to get out of small talk with your neighbors.
The technique, known as perineum sunning or tanning, quickly went viral, as butthole-related content tends to do. And when Covid lockdowns hit a few months later, we all had more time to scorch our anuses than ever. One study found that those posts led to a 919% increase in online interest that continued to spike in the summer months of 2020, despite warnings from experts that there is no proof of health benefits and ample evidence of risks.
@doctorer Doctor Reacts to Perineum Tanning
♬ original sound – Doctor ER
The journey of our collective assholes reflects more than sunlight, but how quickly health misinformation can spread. Now, with anti-vaxxers like RFK Jr. at the helm of the Department of Health and Human Services, and more and more conspiracy theorists and extremists infiltrating the federal government, it is time for us to admit our nostalgia for taint-sunbathing. We would take burnt buttholes over measels any day of the week.
Busy Is a Feminine Trait
Sabrina Carpenter forgot her pants at the Met Gala this weekend. But to be fair, between dropping in on Saturday Night Live, celebrating her second Versace campaign, and being one of the biggest pop stars on the planet, she’s had a lot going on. As the bonus track on her sixth studio album suggests, she’s a Busy Woman.
The song’s lyrics, co-written by Amy Allen and Jack Antonoff, have received criticism. Others have defended the tune, calling it tongue-in-cheek. When Carpenter sings, “If you don’t want me, I’ll just deem you gay,” she is making fun of her inability to deal with rejection rather than saying anything about the LGBTQ community, whom she’s been a vocal ally to.
Still, the track’s heteronormative tone underscores an underrated, traditionally feminine trait: not having time for bullshit. With a growing number of aspiring content creators and influencers preaching passivity as divine femininity, busyness is a refreshingly alpha alternative. Instead of telling girls and young women to sit back, accommodate, and go with the flow, busyness takes all these societal expectations and turns them into the ultimate trump card.
When the list of demands never stops (make money, nurture everyone, be hot, to name a few), like the late Sharon Jones similarly sang, women always have better things to do. Being superior to other men is not enough to win their time. You must compete with pilates and pants, too.
It’s Like Zyn, but on Weed
At Hooky, we’re always on the lookout for new ways to safely and discreetly consume cannabis. Conviently, the same technology that got many of us accidentally addicted to nicotine is available for weed.
Cannadips pouches originally came out in 2016 for a niche market of cowboys, athletes, and other manly types. But now the Zyn craze has taken off, there are also an increasing number of cannabis pouches to try. Currently, many of these include CBD and Delta-8, but there are some options Delta-9 popping up to ask your local budtender about.
The Forecast: Bitcoin is at 94965.47/Gold is at 3,418.30/Men are not bad listeners, they just cannot hear as well, accorind to a study by some women
